Dead or alive you’re coming with me

Ok so when I heard they were remaking Robocop my first thought was “Why?! WHY?! Why Hollywood? Why must you ruin every VHS memory I have?!”

Then I saw this photo and my hatred for Hollywood execs tripled.

new-robocop

 

(Dildocop, half man, half dildo, all justice!)

Could it be any worse? He looks like a walking advert for a Dominatrix convention. Why not add rubber nipples to the outside or have undulating balls in his abdomen for her pleasure? I mean seriously if this trend continues they’ll be remaking the Goonies with that dude from Kick Ass and One Eyed Willy won’t be a dead pirate he’ll be a sex offender with a minivan.

But then they released a new trailer for it. Look at it, look at it and realise you’ll be watching it as soon as it arrives on our cinema screens

As if the CGI weren’t good enough they’ve added Samuel L and Gary Oldman to the mix. It’s like I’m watching the film I was meant to watch all those years ago. Oh Hollywood all is forgiven, except Colin Farrell’s Total Recall nothing you ever do will make up for that triple breasted turd.

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