the bigger issues

I realised I’ve not being using this blog properly. I post a lot about the world of comedy but not much about real life and the things happening. Well today I decided I’d throw my hat in the ring on a few subjects that have been bothering me this week.

1. The ice bucket challenge

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(the lack of nipples is proof of Zuckerburg’s cyborg origins)

If you don’t know what the ice bucket challenge is then you’ve either been walking around with your eyes closed and fingers in your ears or you’ve been living somewhere that hasn’t got internet level technology yet, like Slough. Basically people challenge you to pour a bucket of ice water over your head to raise awareness of a specific charity. The charity it was originally, and predominantly, for was the ALS Foundation however it turns out they’re a bunch of naughty bunnies who spend money raised for them in a way that only 27% actually goes towards the illness itself also it turns out that while a lot of people were getting involved only 53% donated or even knew what cause they were raising awareness for

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(but the Albino Lemur Society thank everyone for their donations)

Donating to charity is great, raising awareness of a specific cause is fantastic but do some research into the cause first and focus on what needs your support the most and immediately rather than a cause that’s already quite well funded comparatively

Here’s some charities who could really use your help right now:

Disasters Emergency Committee is conglomeration of several different charities who are helping provide relief from various different disasters (Syria, Gaza and the typhoon in the Philippines to name but three) so these people don’t have the ability to raise funding themselves. Drop over to the website and donate now  

Shelter are trying to help the homeless situation in the UK. They’re a very hands on charity so anything you can do is great. Here’s their website you will cry at some of the stories.

 

 

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(so here’s a cute kitten)

2. The Great British Bake off “Bingate” dispute

oscar-the-grouch-profile

(is surprisingly nothing to do with this guy)

For those of you who don’t turn on televisions the Great British Bake Off gets people to make food for Mel and Sue to eat while being judged by Mrs Beeton’s grandmother and Paul Hollywood’s shirts. It’s basically a baking reality TV show. This week one of the contestants “sabotaged” another contestants Baked Alaska and over 800 people complained about it. Remember this is a TV show where people bake cakes, it isn’t Prime Minister’s question time or Brass Eye. So many people complained about it that Ofcom might get involved. Yes the Ofcom who independently regulate the communications industry. Ofcom who should be doing better things like Sky’s reporting of the MH17 crash for example.

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(Pictured: something more important than baking shows)

To everyone that complained. GET A FUCKING LIFE! A 70 YEAR OLD WOMAN HAD TO QUIT A TV SHOW ABOUT BAKING BECAUSE OF IT, it does say that it had nothing to do with it but the coincidence is very unlikely. Come on people Sachsgate only got 2 complaints before it got blown out of all proportion by the Daily Mail!!! Over 800 complaints for Baked Alaska!

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(Pictured: The Daily Mail)

3. MPs are defecting to UKIP to help Labour win

Douglas Carswell defects to UKIP

(if you can hear The Muppets’ theme right now you’re not racist)

Turns out that Douglas Carswell’s move to UKIP will actually help Labour win the next election according to David Cameron. His main argument being that UKIP are taking votes away from the Conservatives so by adding to their ranks you’re eroding the popular vote. THAT’S NOT HOW VOTING WORKS DAVID! Shall I tell you why you’re losing votes David? It’s because your policies are outdated, your MPs are out of touch and the only people to benefit from the current economic changes made by the government are those people who are good friends of members of parliament. You know how you get the popular vote? By being POPULAR! You’re even selling off bits of our health service for crying out loud. 

Best Retro PC Games Theme Hospital

(How Cameron thinks the NHS works)

If you’re losing votes to a party whose racist leader thinks that the rest of the world is a desolate post apocalyptic waste land then you’re obviously doing something wrong. Think logically David you’re losing votes to a cross between Mel Gibson and Beaker from the Muppets.

Beaker

(except Beaker’s more worried about the Communist threat)

And there you have my feelings on the main stories coming out of this week’s newspaper. I have specifically left out the date rape drug detecting nail polish as a lot of people have made me sad when I’ve tried to talk about it and realistically they’re never going to make a shade that matches my skin tone. 

 

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