War on the waist finale

As the year comes to a close I just want to thank everyone with their support in my bid to get healthier and happier. 119lbs/54kg lost. Hit a weight of 16st 13lbs down from 25st 6lbs. It’s been insane that I’ve managed to do this. Thank you to every single one of you that’s sent me messages of support and encouragement.

Plus a huge thank you to my wife for helping me to achieve what I always believed to be unachievable, she pushes me to do impossible things.

Going to try my best not to fully reverse all my hard work over Christmas but there’s no way I’m missing Christmas cake and stollen!

Merry Christmas!


It’s been a while

It’s been a while, this seems to be how I always start these posts, It’s been a while and I’m sorry that it’s been so long. But as it’s Christmas, and like the crazy uncle who always smells of whiskey and stuffs fivers into your hands saying “don’t tell your mum”, I thought I’d show up again. What a year. What a goddam crazy year for me. At the end of this year I’m 35% less of the person I was at the beginning. I’ve lost 9 stone in total (how I did it is here), been signed to an agency, been a UK and International finalist in comedy awards I was nomiated for, gone viral a bunch and learned that Quorn is ground up mushroom. What a ride. I mean mushroom is pretty meaty on it’s own, why grind it up? Just eat mushrooms, fry them with butter or coconut oil, add garlic, delicious. I keep promising to update this blog more regularly but I’m never really sure what you want to read, there’s nearly 10,000 of you so it’s hard to please all of you. I’ve come to the conclusion that instead of being weird and picky about it I’m just going to post everything. Stories, pictures, videos, dates of stuff coming up, everything. Then you can decide. If at the end of next year there’s less of you than now maybe we’ll change it but really I’m sure there’s going to be more. I’ve been doing a joke advent calendar for the whole of December. Some of you will have seen these before in my other social media, some will have seen them when they went viral but I’m sticking all of them up here now so you’ve all definitely seen them straight from source. Enjoy

Joke roundup

It’s been a while since I posted actual jokes on here, instead bombarding you with dieting and books like a librarian six weeks before their wedding day, and now I realise there’s nearly 10,000 of you I feel like I’m letting you down so here’s some stuff for you to enjoy as a thank you for following me and also because you laughing at my material fills a hole in my self esteem. Enjoy.

Books 4 and 5

After the lapse of the original schedule I was eager to catch up and get ahead of myself again. Luckily I had a huge bout of anxiety which was semi cured by my wife insisting I read a self help book so here’s books 4 and 5

Book 4 – Instant Confidence by Paul McKenna

Great self help book, read it in an afternoon and has helped with my self esteem issues over the last two days. Would recommend it for anyone, no matter how confident, as it’s got some great techniques for focusing and not getting distracted by everyday worries. 5 stars for what it is

Book 5 – Born Standing Up by Steve Martin

Amazing insight into a comedian’s life. Normally autobiographies are tediously filled with boring anecdotes that pander to fans, not this book. Steve really nails what it’s like to be a developing standup, you never feel like he took his fame for granted and you can see the work he had to put into himself to get where he is. As a comedian this book was exceedingly inspiring and useful for not feeling like you’re doing the wrong things. Again 5 stars.

Next book is Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Philip K Dick

Book 3

I’ve now caught up with myself and finished book 3 on week 3. It’s a great feeling to be completing a book a week, there’s a sense of accomplishment and I’ve missed having something to talk to people about

Book 3 was Slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnegut and I have to say WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! Seriously what was it? Was it a war story? A Sci-Fi novel? The feeling of wondering where your life has gone and why time is short in paper form? Nonsense?

I couldn’t tell you which of those it was, it was all and it was none. I don’t know if I enjoyed it but I’m definitely glad I’ve read it. 4 stars because it’s clever and emotional but in a subtle way. This has killed my curiosity for Kurt Vonnegut. And so it goes.

Next book is Born Standing Up by Steve Martin

The First Two Books

Phew! First two books finished of the 52 week book challenge, only 32 more to go.

First off I have to admit I’m halfway through week 3 and I’ve only finished two books, I’m already behind. I could make excuses about work and commitments but I finished the first book in two days then found it hard to engage with the second. It won’t happen again (it totally will but you never know).

Week 1 – The Power by Naomi Alderman

This was an incredibly engaging novel. The story was original, the characters relatable and the themes were so current that you could cut yourself on how close they came to the edge. A brilliant book, slightly disappointed at the ending but made up for in its prologue. Read it. I’ve never read a novel like it.

Week 2 – Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

I had trouble getting into this book. Gladwell starts with a sports analogy and my lifetime of avoiding any kind of sport means I disengage with the material as soon as it’s brought up in whatever form it comes up in. Also I’m not used to reading non fiction, one of the reasons I’m doing this, preferring fiction or current news to long books on specific topics.

However once I got over myself and pushed through I read the second half of this book in a single day. Fascinating subject matter and full of interesting information which, while relevant to the topic being discussed, provides insights I didn’t expect to find in this book. Again a great book but longer than it needed to be.

Next up Slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnegut