Brexit and other tasty breakfast treats

Brexit, the stupid name given to a decision we shouldn’t have to make. I know a lot of people will disagree with me and suggest that this is a great example of democracy and to those people I say “WE AS A COUNTRY CAN NOT BE TRUSTED! WE VOTED IN THE TORIES!”. I’m not saying we’re all stupid and don’t know what’s best for us, I’m saying there is solid evidence that we’re stupid and don’t know what’s best for us.

I’ve said this all before on a video so rather than reading words on a page watch and listen to them fall out of my mouth like cake crumbs at an 11 year old’s birthday party I managed to sneak in to:

Essentially I’m saying vote Remain but only because we don’t want to give any more power to people who have proven that the only thing they do with it is make their friends richer and the vulnerable deader.

Also to lighten the mood here’s some jokes I wrote to offer as a sacrifice to you guys for all the posts I haven’t made in the last year, this is being rectified and you can expect to see a regular blog here again.


(Thanks to Richard Wood for taking those great photos of me at Cardiff Glee)

The show must go on….

I run a show at the lovely Lichfield Garrick theatre. The show is called Comedy 42 and we pride ourselves on it being one of the best shows in the country. We have a fantastic regular audience and sell out every show. We pay our acts well. We are proud of what we’ve accomplished and last night we became even prouder.

During the second act of the evening, the marvelous Ben Van Der Velde, there was an announcement that the theatre needed to be evacuated. Comedy 42 occupies the Studio which has 150 seats but in the main theatre Pam Ayres was hosting a sold out 40 year anniversary show so that was another 500 people. As soon as the voice came over the tanoy saying we needed to evacuate everyone filtered out into the street. 650 people all outside a theatre and there was us, 3 comedians. All we need to perform is a willing audience. So we did what any good comedians would do, we continued the show. Ben stood up on a bollard outside the car park behind the theatre and just started his set all over again:


(Pictured: Heroics)

We were concerned that everyone was going to be worried about why we’d been evacuated and also that a lot of people were milling around in the road so Ben turned up his big boy voice and soon the crowd were laughing along with his anecdotes and forgetting about any potential peril.



(Pictured: Hilarity)

While this was going on a fire engine showed up alerted by the ongoing alarm in the theatre. A quick check over from the firemen showed that it wasn’t anything too dramatic and after 10-15 minutes we were all allowed back into our respective rooms. The audience for Comedy 42 filtering into our Studio and Pam Ayres’ going into the main auditorium.


Or did they? It turned out that some of Pam’s audience had seen Ben outside and come with us back into the Studio! Turns out Pam wasn’t bitter about it though, that’s how charming Ben is.

Screenshot (16 May 2015 16-12-46)


Once we were all back in Ben carried his set on to the delight of every audience member!


(Pictured: Audience delight)

Before Ben we’d already had the incredible Scott Bennett  who managed to avoid the whole fire alarm kerfuffle. But once Ben had finished his set (to raucous applause of course) we had the amazing Matt Richardson  do an extended set to make sure everyone went home happy.



A good comedy show isn’t a venue, it’s not a single comedian, it’s not a host or a promoter. A good comedy show is the sum of it’s parts. It’s an audience wanting to be entertained, it’s a venue wanting the night to be a success, it’s a host who makes the show run smoothly and it’s acts who will do anything to make people laugh. My show isn’t just my show it’s every comedian’s show who performs on it, it’s every audience member’s who buys a ticket and it’s every member of the theatre who take tickets and promote the nights.

No matter what happens we’ll put on an amazing show, everyone will have a wonderful time and for a moment, no matter what happens, the world will be a brighter place.



(Pictured: LEGENDS!)

Video – Me performing at the Glee Club in Birmingham

Last night I had the absolute honour of performing for the first time on a Friday at the Glee Club. It’s always been a dream of mine and was one of the two goals I set myself when I started doing comedy full time. Here’s the video:


I had loads of fun and have been invited back to do it all again soon so take a look at the video, let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy it!

BBC New Comedy Award

It’s no secret that I hate comedy competitions. I think they have no place in any art really, I’m not trying to be better than other comedians I’m trying to be funny for audiences. Comedy competitions are usually (mostly) popularity competitions, how many friends you can bring is often the measure of success, and I am not interested in being popular with comedians. I’m not even interested in being popular with comedy critics or promoters. The only people I am interested in being popular with is my audience, in the end they’re all that matter.


(Love you Steve)

However there is one competition I am entering and that is the BBC New Comedy awards. A lot of my friends have been successful in it in the past and I respect every single person that’s been in it. I’m 100% sure the outcome is pre decided on prior to anyone even entering however the event itself is well structured, the publicity respectable and generally the standard is extremely high so this year I’ve entered myself. Here is my entry for you to enjoy (or not as really you may not be MY audience but one day I hope you can be AN audience):

Normal programming will resume shortly but first….

Wow has it been a year already? It seriously has been a year since I started blogging! I mean it’s gone in a blur and we’ve had some great times so I’d say it was a massive success, that and we now have over 2000 subscribers! Image

I mean that in itself to me is a bit shocking, 2045 people want to receive my blog directly to their email so they can keep up to date with it. It’s humbling and I appreciate all the support. There’s been times when I’ve wanted to stop and everytime I look at how many of you there are and I think “for every 1 dickhead there’s 2000 people who want me to keep going, 2000 people is a significant army of Purchfans. Fuck the dickheads”. So thank you for being there guys. I want to thank everyone who visits this blog daily too, there’s 100s of page hits a day so either it’s the same people desperate for new stuff or it’s a lot of different people checking up occasionally. There’s the other option that it’s people looking for granny porn but that never happens right?

Screenshot 2014-06-23 at 10.39.06